lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
