porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
