life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
