god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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