I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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