I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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