Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What a dumb baby whore.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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