I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
