member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
