A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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