why didn't you poke me back
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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