so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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