Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
