why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
