dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
