so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
