even my farts smell like vagina
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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