My nipple is on Facebook.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize