dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
did you just send me my own nude
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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