Don't make out with my wife yet
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
