Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i think i have two assholes
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
