so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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