did you get engaged???
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
