***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
