She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
