Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
