I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
