Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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