You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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