There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize