How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
