So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
