I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
