Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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