While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
