no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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