I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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