you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
