i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
