It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The air taste purple.
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