it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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