Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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