I just pynch a tree in the face
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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