He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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