I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
