Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
