so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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