pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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