We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
