my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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