well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
