he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
