You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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