i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
This is not my ceiling
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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