Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
