Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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