Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize