Buhtt sex?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
