just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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