The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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