thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize