Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
