beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
