We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
