Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
