When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
