i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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